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It’s been said that the only person who doesn’t love throwing axes is a person who hasn’t thrown one yet.

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You grip the handle, feel its weight, draw it up behind your head. You swing your axe forward, – remembering to follow through. You track for a moment as it spins and suddenly feel very satisfied as it goes “thud” into the middle of its target.

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In your head you whisper , “This is the apocalypse and that was some diseased zombie skull I just bulls-eyed”.

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In the meantime, no one is going to jump the line at Starbucks. “Seriously asshole, you know how a line works…”

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You develop a relationship with your blade as you throw and maintain it. It really does become an extension of you. A mutual understanding that both of you have a future splitting wood and hearing the cheers of your fellow Throwers.


I had considered joining sports leagues in the past, but the most appealing part about joining a bowling league, for example, was the shirts. And frankly speaking, a bowling ball ain’t gonna save you during a zombie apocalypse – only delay the inevitable. I also wanted to step outside of my regular circle of friends at the comedy club and try something new.


In axe league tournaments you are competing against other Throwers, but really it boils down to a competition between you, your axe and that target made out of wood. When throwing one can imagine the target just called you a ‘rotten piece of shit’. But it’s wrong, you’re not a piece of shit … You’re an Axe Thrower who’s deadly at twenty feet.

-Dave Martin, 2018

-Bad-Axe Throwing Oath